She was lonely. And its surprising because she was hardly alone. Yet, she felt lonely and she couldn't explain it.

She felt empty. She felt as if she's just a shell of who she used to be. The smoke after a series of bright fire works that would soon disappear into oblivion.

She felt sad, despite the fact that she always looked happy. But she wasn't fooling anyone with false cheerfulness. She wasn't trying to push the emptiness inside. It just happens. She was incapable of showing she was sad, incapable of not showing compassion, incapable of not being cheerful when she has the energy to do so. And the instances when other people see the sad, angry side of her, she feels as if this was the act. That she was meant to be the smiling girl for all time. But in life, one cannot smile for eternity. And she knows that. And she wonders why her frowns only come behind closed doors. Why feeling bad doesn't seem right when other people are around her. When she can easliy voice out various crushes without the fear of said crushes knowing. When she can talk endlessly about her life, about every mundane thing about her. And yet, when it comes to what she truly wants, she loses her voice.

And she always thought she lived to be in front of an audience, but the audience will never know the character beyond the stage.

I'm not brave enough to tell.